I lost my sister in February. She was taken from us all way too early! She was a kind and gentle person that loved life and was not afraid to speak up for what's right or for people that don't feel they have a voice. I have no predetermine paragraph to write or story to share, rather a reminder to myself to try not to take things for granted. To not always listen to the loudest voice in the room or in my head. That I cannot control thoughts and I cannot control feelings and that's okay - the sooner I'm able to accept this, the sooner I will find some peace. I must now, and always for that matter, give myself extra grace and love for OCD is so hard on the person that it inhabits. Over the years, when things have gotten really tough, I continue to go back to a meditation that allows me to sit with what I'm feeling, unattached from the thoughts, and share intense kindness and love with me. Here's a link to the meditation from Kristin Neff: Soften. Sooth. Allow.
I think it's the fear or worry that you'll never know if you married/are dating the right person - if you could be happier with someone else, if life would be "better" with someone else (OCD takes advantage of the word "better" because it can mean just about anything; prettier, kinder, etc.) If you are completely honest with yourself, you'll come to the conclusion that you'll never know if another relationship would be "better" or make you happier. It must be this fear of not ever knowing that can make this obsession so scary. You'll never know this because everyone has different and strengths and weaknesses and no one is perfect or will ever be. Moving to another relationship also means that you would lose all the happiness you have in your current relationship. What you deem the most worthy quality in a mate may not be the same tomorrow or next month when your needs change. REMEMBER, when ROCD has more of your attention, it has you