Skip to main content

The Ego and It's Role in Non-Acceptance

We spend a lot of time wishing things were different than they are; small stuff and big stuff alike. For example, we may wish that we had a 'better' or different car, better or different job, or we may wish that it wasn't raining right now and that it was sunny out instead. "I wish I hadn't eaten so much", " I wish that the I had gone to bed earlier", "I wish that I was happy today". We may phrase this differently than "I wish", but it's the same thing. It would be nice if I were better at writing...same thing different words. 

We tend to become so caught up in this vicious cycle that we rarely ever appreciate how things are. If I'm honest with myself, most of the time I cannot change how things are. I can make decisions that will impact and shape tomorrow and perhaps days to come but what I'm wishing for to be different resides in the present and not in the past or future. 

Think of how much of your life is wasted by spending this time and energy thinking and therefore feeling that things should be different than they are. I'm not advocating being complacent, quite the contrary. Just because I wish things were different doesn't mean that I have to repeat history or can't plant seeds to help things have a positive outcome. If there are choices that I can make next time, in the present, that may change the outcome then they are very worth doing. Many times though, most of the time, the outcome is in most ways out of our complete control. This is not a bad thing.

"I wish I didn't have OCD", and "I wish that these thoughts and feelings didn't bother me". Accepting things for how they are doesn't mean that I agree with them. It means that I'm not going to put more energy into changing the things that I cannot change. What I'm going to do instead is enjoy the experience of what's happening right now.

Life is short enough as is. Why shorten your enjoyment of it even more so by trying to change things that are out of your control. Hopefully you find peace with this way of living before it's too late and life has passed you by. That to me, would be the most unacceptable.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

ROCD (Relationship OCD)

Relationship OCD is the term given to obsessions that focus on: fear of getting in a romantic relationship, fear that you are in the wrong relationship, fear that you don't love the person that you are with, fear that having romantic feelings for someone other than your significant other means that there's something wrong with the relationship you are in. By no means is this a complete list of fears but I hope you get the idea.

Relationship OCD is something that really bothered me at one time. It still bubbles up from time to time but not with the intensity or frequency that it used to. I remember experiencing a lot of sadness and pain with this obsession. When it first started bothering me, my fiance meant everything to me and I felt so alone and helpless because I had been able to talk to her about what was bothering me. This was so different than other OCD obsessions because I could at least talk to her about them or let her know what was bothering me. With ROCD I felt that …

Intrusive Thoughts and The Emotions They Bring

From my experience with intrusive thoughts, the kind that go against what we value, they can cause so much anxiety, sadness and guilt. You may be feeling depressed because the thoughts that bother you so much are wearing you down. That's what happened to me. I bought into the thoughts and assumed that they had some value about who I am and because of that, buying into them, I'd taken ownership of them and they were no longer chemical reactions but something that I needed to be concerned about, to worry about, to fix. I grasped them so strongly in my hand and wouldn't let go. The ironic truth is that those thoughts are like hot coals that we hold onto. We try to fix them when what we really need to do is let go of them. Why would one purposefully hold onto something that hurts them so much? 

You are giving energy and power to thoughts that occurred in the past and projecting how they may impact you later, the future. All we have is the present, the now. 
OCD thrives and lives…

Thinking "Bad" Thoughts - The Other OCD

OCD takes the morals that you most cherish, the things that define the fabric of who you are and turns them against you.

Beyond the behaviours of compulsive hand washing and checking lies the other OCD that doesn't get talked about often. It's the OCD that shows little to no outward behavioural actions. It exists in the form of thoughts that have the ability to make your world seem like it's ending and that life isn't worth living. Many refer to it as Pure O because it displays no apparent compulsions; physical behaviours.
The name Pure OCD, or Pure O as it's often referred to, can be very misleading because it suggests that it's 'only' obsessions. It must not be that scary, anxiety provoking, debilitating, or there's nothing that can be done about it because it lacks a compulsion. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I live with this type of OCD. I'm not trying to minimize the suffering and hell that people with washing and checking OCD go thr…